You were so angry at me for having sex with him. It felt so real too, it stayed with me even after I woke up. Unrequited love is so idealistic, especially in comparison.
I’m so happy here.
But if I can’t have you, I want this life alone.
Sometimes I feel my heart swell
I want to offer myself to the world and give until it recedes
Why the fuck does a veggie burger have cheese INSIDE of it? How is that veggie friendly at all?
I’ve been vegetarian for 8 months now, in addition to being lactose intolerant… I can imagine how frustrating it is for 100% vegans to go out into the world.
Back to the Future map, “Paths of the Future” - prints for sale at g1988!
Today I took another look at a schoolmate’s online memorial, which I hadn’t looked at for a while. He was struck while crossing the street in our university town back in December, and died from brain injuries a couple weeks later. He was 20.
I really didn’t know him very well at all, so I feel funny saying that I still feel grief. I talk to his girlfriend-at-the-time everyday now, and I can’t even begin to fathom what she was and is still going through.
I have very few shared memories with him. One that sticks out the most is a couple weeks before his accident, a bunch of school friends were going on a pub crawl around the town, so my boyfriend and I stopped in to a bar near my apartment. We ended up sitting across the table from him. Again, I never knew him well but he was always pleasant and funny, and he said something really nice about me and Tristan, but I can’t remember exactly how he phrased it. I wish I could remember.
I subscribe to his father on facebook, and it was heartbreaking to see his updates when he was in the hospital, but it’s even more so seeing him trying to move on.
It’s just so fucking weird that there is this 20 year old’s life, frozen in time now. He had just finished his first semester of his second year, and was about to leave for his first co-op. It was taken away so quickly, and honestly, that’s the thing that’s been killing me for the past few months being in Boston. I’m so far away from my loved ones - we don’t know how long any of us have, and to waste the days that could have been spent strengthening existing and establishing new meaningful connections seems … pointless.
I want to make a difference in the world with my work in architecture, I want to create change. I want to be proud of the things I design and feel like I am affecting my neighbour. Sometimes when I am so frustrated, or feel like I am the invisible intern, I try and think of Chris’ time cut short, and it helps me keep on.
I just want to fuck and eat rhubarb pies in bed. That day is so close, I can see it in my weather app’s 10 day forecast.